This afternoon, a slew of strange and unexpected dreams formulated in my mind. I want to say that today I've had my car stolen, a band of anarchistic ruffians attacked me and my accomplice in a Wendy's parking lot, and someone ripped my deepest hopes out of my chest. And it's not even lunch! Now it's about 5 PM, although it feels more like noon. The morning yolk has not yet been cast entirely off. Which kind of fucking sucks. Last night I played a 7 hour session of Victoria II with my best friend. By the end of it, which was around 5:30 AM, that my circadian annoys me sometimes was the primary topic of discussion. But the Commonwealth of Nations does not form itself, and Amero-Sino-Arabic-Russian asses don't willingly sort themselves into the "kicked" bin to make way for such a development. Somebody's gotta do it.
One year ago I was fresh out of high school. Now less than a week remains before the anointed time, graduation again. All the protozoa, solubility constants, easy ass Spanish grammar, and virulence factors in the world are gonna rise against me on these finals. If I gave a hot dog about math, it's mathematically impossible that I could fail any of my classes now. For the sake of my GPA, though, bombing them isn't an option. I'm very proud of my personal life, and how far I've come. Soon, responsibility will be in getting a lax job for the holidays and planning the next few years of my life.
I'm particularly looking forward to finally achieving my lifelong desire to go to Europe. Being a history buff, seeing the sights should be an epic endeavor. Perhaps I'm a bit like Sidney Lanier, the Georgian romantic who always wanted to go to Germany. Maybe I'm ten times cheekier than Lanier. I have the opportunity and an ardent enthusiasm about going there. Seeing the land of the Avars and the seat of Rome will be fucking great. Also, I can pick up knowledge of French, know basically what's going on in other languages, and feel overall like one of the beautiful Dutch omniglots.
Part of my brain says the place will probably be awful when I get there. Getting around will be a bitch, and I'll probably blow money for nothing but seeing a bunch of ugly ass cities. My friends will suddenly hate me and leave me SOL or clam up about smoking weed together in Amsterdam. I'll be an awkward man in an awkward land. This until I must return to Georgia with the ultimate shame. But whatever happens, lay it on me, life. I'll take the rain before thirty more minutes of this postpostpostmodern abyss of boredom and doom.
In other news, particularly about my perspective. Hillary has fallen in the polls to the point that there is now a tie. They say people hate both the candidates, and are susceptible to easily switching or not showing up to vote. My first reaction to this was "no shit". I thought at first that Hillary's health was a non-issue, but it turned out they were lying to us about that as well. The Trump people were just making stuff up and hoping it sticks, obviously. But did the Dems actually think covering this up would help them?
This week I finally came to terms with the possibility that Trump could be our President. Reflections have often left me with the thought that we're already living in a country that is sub-prime to what it should be. So I've just extended that thought to Trump becoming President. When I really think about it, I have nothing to lose by him winning that I don't stand to lose by Hillary winning. My efforts in supporting Bernie failed. The ideas closest to my political beliefs lost the election some months ago. My say never translated to anything. In all honesty, some slimey fucker over at Gawker probably cancelled my vote. So in another four years... hopefully.
Bless you all, and have a great day.
John Lockers
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