The Sad Truth (From a Lying Anthropologist)

Maybe a week ago, I was pretty bored and looking for something to write about. Then this poem came upon me. This is classic case of misanthropy, taken from the jaws of a voracious beast with three heads and two toes. Maybe it also contains some misandry.

Before posting this poem, I thought of the idea of doing a face reveal. There's this funny picture of me holding a Pinkie Pie toy from Toys R Us in my hand, and it fit this poem so well. But sadly the art of face sharing is too scary. However, we'll make a deal. I'm around 1k hits so far. This is a monumentous beginning for where we're going. For my 1bth hit, I'm getting us all a private flight to the colony on Titan onboard Elon Musk's most state-of-the-art space shuttle.

I hear you now: fuck yeah. We're gonna rock this Solar System with shitty political analysis and deep poetical insight, along with some basic human kindness and fortitude. I'd never doubt it. So without further ado, a poem I am very proud of.

Why the Democrats Lost, and the Progressive Revolution to come

In 1948, Democrat President Truman was in a tough race against Republican Governor Thomas E. Dewey of New York. Senator Strom Thurmond ran a pretty tough campaign in the South under the States' Rights Democratic banner, promising to take the party back from the landed Democratic leadership of the times due to their support of integration of the armed forces. In four states, these Dixiecrats actually snatched the Democratic ballot line, taking away the electoral votes of each. Due to the closeness of the election, it was widely speculated that the Dixiecrats would supplant the old guard of the Democratic Party in the event of a failure. However, Truman rode on the appeal of an underdog and defeated both his competitors.

A few days ago, conventional wisdom in American politics was shattered. Republican Donald J. Trump defeated the presumptuous candidate, Democrat Hillary Clinton, pulling the solidly-Democratic Rust Belt from her and winning a near landslide in the Electoral College, despite losing the popular vote by a few hundred thousand votes. Republicans retained the Congress. While all the polls predicted otherwise. Some powerful Democrats blame independent candidates for the loss in this incredibly close election, which could have gone the other way with a few hundred thousand votes. Libertarian Gary Johnson and Green Jill Stein, in particular. But this won't work at all. The old guard is crumbling, and a new political landscape is being formed as I write.