Lockerian Times #2

Written 2/28/16

Now firstly, I wish to express my apologies that a certain while has elapsed since my last post here. At the time of my writing Lockerian Times #1, I was staring down the barrel of a loaded gun of business, and yet I wrote anyways. However some things must be said, by an imperative that transcends our finite spaces.

Welcome to a world where nothing matters but internet presence. Feel impressed upon your mind all day how people think of your shit. This world is not social media, but my DeviantArt brainchild ISIS: A Tale of Valor. This monster, this pet project I never got around to finish... it started with a joking post that no one found funny but me, and became something much more alive. A tale of triumph, death, love, and ruin.

Now for a run-down of the plot. I first began ISIS: A Tale of Valor in 2014. Hysteria filled the air concerning the recent declaration of Caliphate by the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant. Myself being a lover of maps, I wanted desperately that they would expand and make cool shit happen. Believe me, when I was on the avante-garde, when I had watched the first breaths of ISIS from Bestgore, I figured they were good guys. Erasing borders between countries? That's my money. But by November of 2014, it was clear that Snowden was a traitor, and that ISIS was bad...

Two years later. ISIS failed by every measurement, and I'm rooting for the SDF (Hêzên Sûriya Demokratîk) to do some cool shit now. At least pertaining to the Kurds, the tender heart of Christopher Hitchens came upon me like winter. Sûriya YEE! But allow us to look now to the past – at the wonderful story of ISIS: A Tale of Valor.

Day 1

The Republicans tried to warn us... but we didn't listen.

My name is John. In the Old World, I was a work-at-home socially disconnected millionaire Liberal with Socialist tendencies. I thought they were just fools, leading us on to oppress minorities and stop the lively globalist paradise led by Google and it's partners. The truth is blinding. President Obama's policies have failed the American people.

Now firstly, that is some rags to riches shit right there. In 2014, I was an epithet writ in fruitage eloquent – a high school Junior tired every single day. Now I'm tired every other day. At least I have written evidence that I was part of the Revolución before it was cool.

In this scenario, Obama refused to send any soldiers to fight in Iraq/Syria. ISIS conquered all of the Mid. East and Europe within the year. Russia took a swath of Europe and allied with ISIS to attack America. Too bad Obama butchered the military, or maybe we'd have had a chance. My old self reports from a local military base,

Fox News and Fox Radio are both playing very loudly (because the Liberal stations realized they were wrong and fled into obscurity)

ISIS lands in Nova Scotia. Russia and China both invade Hawaii, taking on American irregulars and defeating them. Fair Rumor had it that despite already living in Georgia, the military wanted to move people even further south. It seemed like we were all gonna have to get used to water that reeks of rotten eggs and we'd all die in a nuclear blast or something.

Day 2

Despite my physical struggles in this place, I have come to realize what the third-world truly must have dealt with under the might of the first-world, as politics now hold their place within every conversation and at every little pull-up table where we are rationed the god-awful provisions. I know that the President has failed us, but I still cannot help but feel my resolve strengthen, my heart yearn more for a New World. Maybe it was Congress blocking his every move?

This day contained much bitching and whining as one would expect from a post-apocalyptic wonderland, but we started to see some Third Worldism (Communism which believes the first world to be the bourgeoise and the third to be the proles). I reasoned that ISIS plundered the first world, taking away the luxuries of civilized life, thereby making America a valid place for revolution. We became the proles, filled with revolutionary and romantic valor, but also plagued with the bearings of racism and ultranationalism.

I assure that I haven't just breathed empty praises to Death all my life. If men may be brothers and the world may be at peace, I would most happily submit my life and soul to such a noble end.

While I grew romanticism like the tomatoes of truth, the world without got worse. Quebec declared independence from Canada and got some stuff for allying with ISIS; widespread language discrimination ensued, yet Social Democracy was revived. ISIS attacks Vermont and evidently attacks the Yucatán.

Day 3

The warrior culture has returned today. People strap guns all over their bodies and train furiously, while others fill the place of Bards, singing the grand tunes of phantasmic Europa. Apparently in this future, after raising my millions, I continued playing the clarinet. The love of my life, Claire. That thing has been lost for a year now.

I hook up with my bruh from math support, and he's a soldier now. I report,

it is very odd to see him gun in hand at attention, and not asking me for food or wallowing in pride at his failing French grade. I look sadistic, laughing at him as he sternly tells me about the advances of ISIS and our next movement. All the Americans and Canadians who aren't already a frozen fountain of blood are about to be a mildly warmer one: in a trip to the Midwest. But that's where one great army left – from Quebec – and were utterly defeated the same way.

Maybe Global Warming happened. Jaja, just a week ago I was driving home and flurries of snow began to fall upon my car. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja44a3xpJrQ

People grew a backbone overnight, really. For the first two days, everyone was demoralized – yet on Day 3 they start to care about things. My worries shift from ISIS in Quebec to whatever should come after their defeat. Elections are rescheduled for the 26th of December.

Day 4

Transhumanist presidential candidate Zoltan Istvan and author of The Transhumanist Wager makes his first appearance today. Machines begin to rapidly take their place in American society, and for a moment, I lament things like Timothy McVeigh. However in the next paragraph, I see how all of these people in New York love Zoltan Istvan, and see their point. The end of biological death. But I still have some doubts about endorsing him.

Now don't take me as a fundamentalist bigot who cowers in fear at each scientific advance. I only foresee the death of the perfect world I had imagined, which probably was never a factor either way.

Naturally, it is very odd that I find myself reactionary to this: to augment the human body and mind has been a dream from the steps of Antiquity, from the Zulus to the world culture we spiral into now... maybe you just can't slap enough metal on man to make him bearable. All I can tell you now is to remove all that is human.

Once I'm done with this, I break the news that I've fled from the military base and returned to my own house. I take a picture of the map from Fox and announce my IRL intention to write more regularly than on and off for months. Everything gets made so nice and cuddly and deep and snuggly:

Now I have started a fire in my room using the artificial logs from the fireplace and the remainder of my front door, while locking the one to my own room and draping curtains over all the windows. All there is left to hope is that I don't die in the middle of the night from a lack of oxygen. Anyways, I'm off to bed.

Day 4 always shall hold a special place in my heart: it was the last installment, the longest, all of this stuff. But it's also the one that Zoltan Istvan somehow saw and shared with the Transhumanist Party on Facebook. Maybe one day I will revive the story; but for now I have more pressing projects.

Let me give a shout out to my boy Zoltan! If the Revolution fails to impress on the upcoming Super Tuesday presidential contests, he's one of my top choices in November.

And my friends, thank you for reading.

John Lockers